Editor’s Note: The author has been quoted as saying, “I wear skinny jeans, wayfarers and ride a fixed gear bike… but ill be god damned if you call me a hipster.”

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I was at a loft party in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, on assignment to pinpoint exactly what it means to be a hipster. What follows is a direct transcription of  an interview I had with a young man named “James.”

Derek: So James, I’m writing an article for BTTV that is trying to discover what being a “hipster” actually means. Can we just talk about that topic for just a minute?

James: Listen man, I take a lot of shit from people about the way I look and the things I do. Sure I wear tight jeans, my bike cost more than your car, and I mean like, sometimes my dad gives me shit for spending the money he sends me on records instead of my rent, but I’m not a god damn hipster, alright?

D: Alright fair enough, I wasn’t accusing you of anything, I’m just looking around this party and I’m sure most outsiders would call the people here hipsters, right?

J: Oh yeah, fuck these kids. Fucking hipsters… I’m only here because me and my friends thought it would be like, really funny to show up. Like, do you hear this shit they are listening to? I mean, fucking christ! (laughter)

D: Okay, but there are hipsters at this party then. We agree on that. Can you tell me then what exactly makes a person a hipster?

J: Yeah totally, like a hipster is a person who does everything just to fit some mold, or like, just to look cool, man. Hm… Like here, see this tattoo?

D: that one?

J: No not the bottle of steak sauce, this one, yeah… this anchor has a lot of meaning and like… interpretativeness (sic) in my life. You know most people would get a tattoo like this because they are trying look cool or some shit but this one actually means something personally to me…Like, I’m always having these really big smart ideas and stuff that other people probably wouldn’t understand, so like, this tattoo reminds me that…. well the anchor is like a metaphor… they are there to stop boats or something.

D: So it reminds you that your mental landscape can be like a dangerous ocean, and that you, like the boat, sometimes need something steadfast and firm to hold to?

J: Totally! Totally! Yeah thats perfect, hang on, I’m going to tweet that.

D: (long pause) So whats with the sauce then?

J: Oh man, I just thought it would be really funny, because you know I’m a vegan. That means that…

D: (interrupting) Yes I know what a vegan is. And yes, thats… interesting. Lets look at that. Why did you decide to become a vegan? Was it for environmental reasons? Compassion for animals? A philosophy you decided to adhere to?

J: Ha ha, nah man… It was like 3 years ago; I was trying to fuck this girl and she was all into that health food stuff so I decided I’d give it a shot. I ended up getting with her because of it. Its was incredible! I had to keep it going… I mean like, you tell some hippie girl you are a vegan and like, you know you’re at least going to see her tits by the end of the night.

D: Great… But getting back to our original point… You seemed very adamant about not being considered a hipster, yet you are very quick to identify everyone else here as such. I mean don’t get me wrong, but we all kind of dress in the same style, have pretty similar interests, read the same books, listen to the same music etc. etc…. doesn’t that define a “subculture?” And on top of that, you’re here at this party hanging out with these people.

J: (long pause) …Yeah but I’m here as a joke. Like usually I wouldn’t be hanging out with these types of kids.
D: Why not?

J: Because they are fucking hipsters man! Look at them all– all this bullshit “I’m cooler than you” posturing. Its so lame.

D: So you’re cooler than the kids at this party?

J: Oh, definitely.

D: Right.

At this point, another young man taps James on the shoulder and whispers something inaudible in his ear. James gestures that he will be one moment and both men walk into the bathroom together. After 3-5 minutes they emerge. James sits back down and continues talking, mid sentence.

J: …like a mindset you know? You either are there… and I mean really there… you are always trying to catch up.  There isn’t some hard and fast rule to being like… I don’t know its like you have this concept of either who you are or who you want to be. There is the disconnect man! There is the rub! (laughter) Its like the difference between ice and water man… Like ice can go in your water but its not actually water. Well I mean, it is water but its not like real water you know? (laughter)

D: I think we’re done here.